Whether you are a Bachelor/Bachelorette fan like myself or not, you can still learn 3 Lessons for how to be SECURE IN LOVE from Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay.
Rachel was one of the more confident, self-assured, and likable Bachelorettes. I would call her “Secure” when it comes to her Love Style or rather a ‘Confident Hero.’Rachel came from a loving family; they appeared supportive and respectful of her decisions. Rachel made a confident Bachelorette because of her family’s positive influence and her successes in life. Rachel admitted in her previous season with Nick that she had trouble speaking up and sharing her feelings. In her current role as the Bachelorette, she overcame her communication fears. She was very clear from the beginning to the end what she was looking for. As a secure woman, Rachel represents a mere 25% of the population, of women. Rachel is a role model to other insecure men and women. Try to be confident like Rachel by applying the following:
1. DON’T MAKE EXCUSES FOR MEN OR WOMEN
Example: When Rachel found out from DaMario Jackson’s ex-girlfriend that he was being duplicitous she was skeptical though she listened to both the girlfriend and DeMario stories. Rachel gave Da Mario a chance to speak up with honesty, however, he became defensive. As a Secure woman, Rachel didn’t make excuses for his behavior, she asked him to leave. He came back a second time to try to redeem himself. Despite his best efforts, he was unable to put Rachel’s mind at rest. Rachel stated that she wanted to be with “a man not a boy” implying that a man would take responsibility for his behavior and know how to repair a relationship. This is an example of a secure person knowing their worth and expecting how they will be treated.
2. LEARN FROM YOUR PAST/LOVE SHOULD BE EASY
Example: Rachel was trying to learn from her past. I’m guessing that Peter was similar to her ex, which was why she was simultaneously attracted to him and scared of him. Men like Peter not only need more time to fall in love. Sometimes they NEVER catch up, which is what Rachel feared. You can’t help but agree with Peter that true love can’t be rushed but few women want to put in this effort for a man who is a maybe. While many viewers interpreted the tearful goodbye between Rachel and Peter to be about true love, to me it looked like frustration. After 3 hours of circular talking, both were beaten down and could not figure out a compromise? Peter gave many mixed messages. For Rachel, she was sad that Peter could not be more definitive. Peter not making a decision, was a decision! I liked that Rachel wanted to show up on her engagement day not having to break up with a guy right before getting engaged. A Bachelorette first, which I appreciate.
In a secure relationship, love should be easy, not hard, especially from the beginning.Rachel learned from her previous relationship that you can’t change someone, not even after 5 years.
In contrast, Rachel’s relationship with Bryan was easy. She gave Bryan the first impression rose and their relationship progressed without drama.Bryan was more expressive from the beginning to end.He made her feel secure, which is what women want and need! Both Rachel and Bryan appeared confident and genuinely ecstatic about their connection.
3. SPEAK & ACT WITH CONFIDENCE
Example: Rachel spoke and acted with confidence throughout the entire season. On the finale, Rachel confronted Peter for wishing her a mediocre life. Peter was very nervous, stating that he was shaking and felt “attacked” on the live show. Like a Secure woman, Rachel asked Peter for evidence that she was attacking him? She chose her words wisely and told Peter that she respected his slower pace. Rachel told Peter that a show like the Bachelor probably wouldn’t work for him for these reasons. Rachel made no apologies that as a 32-year-old woman, she’s had enough experience to know what she wanted and what worked for her. She elegantly wished Peter well. Rachel appeared very relieved to be with a man like Bryan who she felt was more similar to her in that they both are confident and more expressive.
SECURE SUMMARY: RACHEL SAID SHE AND BRYAN ARE ‘BEST-FRIENDS’ AND CALLED THE RELATIONSHIP ‘MATURE.’ BOTH GOOD SIGNS OF CREATING A SECURE RELATIONSHIP. IF BOTH OF THEM CAN CONTINUE TO COMMUNICATE I HAVE HIGH HOPES THAT THEY WILL BE ONE OF THE COUPLES THAT MAKES IT.
If you have an alternative view, please leave a comment.