the blog

Bachelor/Bachelorette Musings | Guilty Pleasure
How JoJo the Bachelorette handles bad boys?

JoJo Fletcher is this season’s Bachelorette who appears to have a penchant for bad boys.  If you can relate to JoJo, keep reading to understand how to best handle them.

If you’ve been watching  JoJo’s body language with your volume off you can probably guess which bad boy she’s likely to choose in the end.  This season my bet is on Jordan Rodgers, the same guy she gave her first impression rose to. While the first rose is not a telling sign of who will be chosen at the end, it did work that way when Kaitlyn Bristowe chose Shawn Booth. This season is similar as the producers are trying to distract us from her obvious choice, only this time the distracting villain is Chad instead of Nick.

The big difference  this season is not how many bad boys the producers picked for JoJo, but the number of them she has kept. Last season I spoke about attachment theory, highlighting that Ben Higgins appeared to be an anxious type also known as a puppy. JoJo is similar to Ben it that it appears that she has some of her own insecurities when it comes to men.  

While this blog doesn’t cover why women are attracted to bad boys like kryptonite, you can read the reasons why in my previous post are you choosing the wrong men, again? In this post,  I want to dissect how JoJo reacts to men who are bad boys.

Examples of JoJo’s insecure behaviors (thus far):

1. On her two-on-one date with Alex and Chad, she throws Alex under the bus and tells Chad what Alex told her, instead of taking responsibility for her choice with him.

2. When Chad is leaving, she still wants to be seen as a good person, saying, “I gave you a chance Chad!” 

3. Before she confronts Jordan about rumors of his cheating, she talks about “How scared she is in bringing up the topic.”

4. Immediately after she confronts Jordan she apologizes, “I think that you’re mad at me. Don’t be mad at me!”

While there are plenty of other examples, JoJo misunderstands one big point! She’s not a contestant on the Bachelor. She is the Bachelorette!

JoJo admits that meeting Ben and being treated with respect and kindness was a great experience for her, but when she gets around bad boys she forgets this lesson and resorts to acting like a young girl.

The two lessons that JoJo can benefit from in order to find secure love are:

  1. Start acting with more confidence, knowing that finding love means having to say goodbye to good guys.
  2. Find a way to make yourself equal to men and don’t act as if you are scared or care more about their feelings than your won.  Remember when you care more about your partner’s feelings than your own, you are reinforcing this message; you set it up that way.

But without saying more about the fate of JoJo and her bad boy, what lessons can we learn? Ask yourself the following:

  1. Have I ever let a man make me feel insecure?
  2. Am I afraid to ask for what I want and need?
  3. Do I hold myself with respect and require that men treat me the same way?
  4. Do I believe that confronting a man about his past is an insurance policy against him doing the same to me?

Regardless of JoJo’s insecurities, she is clearly a beautiful woman, while men and women call her HOT, check out this video for what I mean Universal Hot/Crazy Matrix. This model explains that the chances of finding a woman who is hot and not crazy are about as rare as finding a unicorn.

SECURE note:  No matter how beautiful people are on the outside, they can be insecure. Confidence in yourself is one of the best things you can wear. Forget the unicorn mask; instead of pretending to be a mythical creature be a secure woman! 

What have you learned from JoJo?



10 comments to " How JoJo the Bachelorette handles bad boys? "

  • Deidre

    I agree, very dry season.
    Love the hot/crazy matrix, funny stuff,
    Thanks for sharing,

  • Deidre,
    Thanks for the comment, the unicorn reference in the matrix was also a reference to the mask she wore on Ben’s season.
    Glad you enjoyed it,
    Dr. Diane

  • I agree with you — The amazing thing that I have noticed over the years is that the better/hotter looking the woman the more insecure they are/get as time goes by ….. I am pretty sure that this stems from a very young age when they get so much attention because of their looks that they begin to believe that somehow that’s all that matters. These woman get even more insecure as they get older since the looks/body changes and with all the media still pushing a “certain HOT look” the more they become insecure. The metaphor I would use is that the more folks that clap externally for them the better they feel until there is no clapping and they feel trapped in a dark room and hence the insecurity — the light that shines is not from within but provided externally by those men that surround them with their “clapping”.

  • Navy,
    I would clap to thank you for your comment but don’t want to give the wrong message…LOL
    Dr. Diane

  • confused

    I think the ABC producers have it all wrong. They think the viewers want drama, but the Bachelor’s and Bachelorettes I have liked the most are those that handle themselves well, they call out the players and call their own shots.
    I don’t care if someone gets engaged then hear them splitting shortly after.
    I agree JoJo might be one of those.
    Despite this I keep watching, WHY??

  • Dear Confused,
    I agree completely with your favorite prior Bachelors and Bachelorettes, I too enjoy hearing about relationships working out. I ran the statistics on who stays together.
    For the Bachelors, only 10% are actually still together or married. Of the 20 Bachelors they have had in 14 years,the odds of the bachelor proposing are only 60%. Only 10% got married or are still together.
    For the Bachelorettes, there have been only 12, however, 100% have ended in a proposal, with 36% still together.

    Don’t be confused,some 4.6 million watched the last finale along with you.
    The franchise has spawned fantasy leagues, drinking games and viewing parties around the country. Bachelor nation appears to be alive and well.
    Keep watching and keep commenting,
    Dr. Diane

  • Jemnifer

    You nailed it Dr. Diane. my favorite part of this blog is when you hold Jojo accountable for men putting their feelings first… Because you are exactly right, she set it up that way. Using the bachelorette as a way to get across your expert advice is brilliant. I think it’s something that all single girls can relate to.

  • Jennifer,
    Thanks for your enthusiastic comment. I’m watching tonight and more examples of insecure behaviors; throwing James under the bus by telling Jordan what he confessed to her and keeping both Alex and James. It doesn’t appear she has a close connection with either one of them, more her fear of letting men go.
    Dr. Diane

  • ashley

    yeah not digging JoJo, as you say, so insecure, all she talks about is it not working out,
    sad really

Leave a Comment

Want to know your Love Style?

Want to know your partner’s Love Style?

take the quiz

Want to get my free blog
Secure Notes delivered to your inbox?